The Modern Nomads

One Family's Journey

Author: Amanda Walker Page 4 of 9

Oh Deer!

The last couple of days have been filled with exploring our area and getting acquainted with our neighborhood. Sunday evening we worshipped with the sweetest church known as Machias Valley Baptist. Their pastor, Matt, and his wife, Marcy, took us in, loved on us, and welcomed us like we had always been part of their family. Thursday, I plan to attend their ladies’ luncheon and, prayerfully, connect more with that sweet church. We also plan to have Matt, Marcy, and their three girls over for supper this week. We’re so blessed God has given us likeminded brothers and sisters in Christ that we can learn from during our time away.

Yesterday (Monday), we decided to strike out on an adventure touring Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park. We arrived to the top of Cadillac Mountain while it was still cloudy and drizzling, so our view was extremely hindered. However, the kiddos enjoyed climbing all over the rocks and trying to make their own trails. Aaron knows no fear, so, several times, I had to stop him from diving off the mountain. 🙂 It’s been fun to watch our children explore and take risks. They are absolutely loving the coastline and rocky beaches that grace Maine’s shores. The girls are learning so much about high tide, low tide, roll tide (just kidding 🙂 ), and all other vocabulary related to beach living. God has been so good.

Yesterday, we also had another adventure that we wish we could have skipped. While coming home from Bar Harbor a deer ran out of nowhere and hit the side off ur van. We were going about 50 miles/hr, and Chris didn’t have time to react. Thankfully, the only one hurt was the deer. Our kiddos were sleeping, so they didn’t see it. (Praise God!) However, Red Rocket, as our van is affectionately called, sustained some injuries. The deer broke the horn, air conditioner, hood, and front grill. It’s still drivable, but we are trying to get it fixed before we leave. Maine summers and no air conditioning is doable…the south’s summer NOT so much! Please be praying we will be able to get the insurance claims in a timely manner, and there will be a auto repair shop willing to fix it.

Even with this little mishap of a deer hitting us, we’re having a wonderful time. We slowly feel our minds and bodies relaxing in this amazing place. We can’t get over the generosity of our church family for granting us this time away. God has been so sweet to us through your kindness!

Looking forward to tomorrow’s adventures…

Us on Cadillac Summi

 

Acadia National Park is breathtaking!

It’s all fun and games until a deer decides to hit you 🙂

Show me your muscles

The Walkers exploring “their” beach!

We’re HERE!!

We’re HEEEERE! Where, exactly, is here? The Lord has given us an amazing oasis in the midst of this crazy world all the way in Machiasport, Maine. As we drove around the “city” (think small town), we were awestruck by its quaintness. Of course, there are a few chain restaurants (Dunkin Donuts, Subway, McDonalds), but we mostly saw locally owned cafes, shops, and restaurants. I had the opportunity to sit outside their grocery store while Chris ran in to get some of the essentials, and it seemed like everyone stopped to talk to someone coming or going. I LOVE IT! It’s like Ruston on steroids.

Now…it’s time to let the pictures do the talking.

After 5 full days of driving, we FINALLY made it to Maine!

Seafood and ice cream seem to be the two biggest food groups. KK loves the shrimp, and Hannah loves the ice cream 🙂

The Lighthouses here are spectacular! We ended up seeing Portland Headlight, which was a total “chance happening.”

 

As you can see, God has been so good to us. We are incredibly thankful for our time away from the norm and look forward to all God has in store for us as we seek Him. Now that we are here and getting settled, please pray that we use our time wisely. Pray we rest when we need to rest, play when we need to play, and learn whatever God desires to teach us. It’s not a coincidence that the Lord brought us out to the middle of nowhere this summer. He’s got some big plans for us, and we don’t want to miss it.

Thank you for praying us here!

A Spontaneous Trip

After four days of driving, we have FINALLY arrived in New England! Tonight we go to sleep in Connecticut…but oh the day we’ve had! Our original plan was to go straight from Hagerstown, Maryland to Hartford, CT., which would been about a 5 hour drive.

However, about 3 hours in, we realized that we would only be 20 miles from New York City. Originally, I didn’t want to fight the traffic, but I knew I would regret not allowing the girls to experience at least part of the city. They are fascinated with the Rockettes and often talk about seeing where they “live.” So, in a moment of weakness (or genius), we headed into Manhattan. OH. MY. GOODNESS!! I am SO glad we went. My girls got to see the Hudson River, Financial District, Radio City Music Hall, go around and around and around in a spin door (think Elf), drive through Central Park, and a NYC hot dog stand. The minute I got the girls out and we began walking hand-in-hand across a busy NYC street, I literally squealed like a little girl. In a small, but real, way, I felt like this mama’s dream was coming true. I’ve anticipated the day I could take my girls to one of my favorite cities, and today it happened. Granted, it was only about 30 minutes, but it was one of those moments I’ll never forget.

Once again, the Lord taught me something about myself. I used to be spontaneous and loved to do crazy things, but, as a mother, I have changed. I tend to be afraid to get our kiddos out of their routine, and when I do, I worry that it won’t go well. Therefore, I often choose the known for the unknown. Today, I was reminded of how much I will miss (and therefore my children will miss) if I don’t, at times, throw caution to the wind and just go for it. Yes, we ended up getting to our hotel 2.5 hours after we originally planned. But, it was worth EVERY minute. The girls loved talking to their grandmothers while IN the city they had previously only heard about. They loved seeing the Rockettes “home.” They loved imagining and dreaming about the day I bring them back. (For two years, I’ve promised we would go to the city for their high school graduation trip.) And, most of all, they loved stepping out of the norm and doing something different.

I want to encourage you planners, like me, dare to be spontaneous. Dare to step outside of y0ur norm and do something new. You may just discover that it was exactly what you needed.

Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut

Radio City Music Hall!!

Sites from the Big Apple

Living Intentionally

We have finally hit the Northeast! Yesterday, we drove through North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, and into Maryland. We’ve seen some beautiful farmland and been amazed at the history that peppers this area. One of highlights was our drive through Shenandoah Valley and the Blue Ridge Mountains. Chris has a goal of seeing every National Park in the United States, so he was excited to check that one off his list. To say that it was beautiful would be an understatement. The breathtaking views of the mountains on one side and the valley on the other was something that cannot be described…it MUST be experienced. It was like an oasis for these weary travelers. In just one short hour, we saw a black bear, two deer, and countless other wildlife. God’s creativity is definitely on display in Shenandoah. 

The next highlight was being able to visit with a former roommate, Julie. She and her husband, Zach are two of the neatest people I know. They live, work, and play with the Gospel in the forefront of their minds. They rearrange all parts of their life in order to maximize their effectiveness for the Kingdom. How encouraging to hear how the Father is using them in their sphere of influence and what He is doing through them as a couple! 

It’s so easy to get sucked into the American mindset of busy schedules, endless hours of work, and limited time for relationships. You have to make a decision to live intentionally for the sake of the Gospel, and this couple has made that decision. I was challenged to think differently about the way I do life, raise my kiddos, and do ministry. The Father has given us the mandate to make disciples of all the nations, and I need to be more intentional in making that a reality in my life. Living in a college town, the nations have literally come to us. If we aren’t living life on purpose, then we will miss the blessing of meeting and reaching these people. 

Zach and Julie, thank you for encouraging our hearts towards our Savior. Thank you for sharing your life with us and allowing us to see all the Father in doing in and through you. You are a blessing to our family!

The great states of Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland

Chris, Amanda, Julie, and Zach

Shenandoah National Park

 

The best ride in town

East Meets West

Yes…I know it’s the second post I’ve written today. But, I can’t go to bed without sharing what God did today. We made it through Georgia, South Carolina, and stopped in Greensboro, North Carolina. After 12 (yes TWELVE) years of praying, waiting, longing, and begging, God finally allowed me to see one of my girls from Taiwan.

I met Jenny when I was only 22 (though I felt much older), and she was 24. I had just finished college, and I knew God called me to spend two years serving overseas with the International Mission Board.  In my estimation, I took the Taiwan position because it was the only job description that didn’t have the words “church planting” in its title (plus I could wear shorts). These may not be the most “Godly” reasons for choosing where to spend two years, but, in God’s goodness, He often uses our shallowness to bring about His ultimate plan. I, indeed, was part of a church planting team. But, I soon found out that planting churches had nothing to do with building buildings but building people. Jenny was one of the first Christ followers I met (she had only been a Believer for a month), and I had the amazing responsibility of discipling her. At that time, I knew very little about discipleship, and I was even more clueless on how you actually DID it. All I had modeled to me was Sunday school lessons, but how did you disciple someone when all you had is the Bible?! Oh, how thankful I am the Lord dropped me in the middle of a country I did not know, with a people I did not understand, and then gave me His Word alone as my guide! I soon found out that all one needs is scripture!

Back then, I didn’t know anything about the inerrancy, infallibility, and sufficiency of scripture. All I knew is that God’s Word was powerful, perfect, and everything I needed for life and godliness (2 Pet. 1:3, 2 Tim. 3:16-17). I didn’t know anything about men and women’s roles in the church or the home, Calvinism vs. Arminianism, or even cared who was in “power” at the higher levels of the SBC and IMB. All I knew was I had some amazing team leaders who modeled a Godly marriage, showed me how to minister and then empowered me as a woman in ministry, taught me the importance of evangelism, and loved on me as if I was one of their own. Guys, THIS is what it’s all about.

As I sat there looking at Jenny tonight, God reminded me of the simplicity and blessing of serving my Savior. In our “American church-isms,” we often make ministry too difficult. It’s about JESUS! It’s about making HIM famous. It’s about serving Him and not man. I am so thankful the Lord has given me the opportunity to go to seminary and get two degrees. But, oh, to go back to the simplicity of ministry. To realize that in my weakness is where God is strong. To understand that He is the only One that matters. These are the things I taught Jenny all those years ago. And, tonight, the student became the teacher.

My life is forever changed because of the girls I met, led to Christ, baptized, and then discipled those many years ago. Father, thank you for giving me these precious ones. And, thank you for allowing me to see how they have continued faithful to you and your Word. “I have no greater joy than to hear (and see) that my children are walking in the truth.” (3 John 1:4 emphasis added)

My family with Jenny’s family (Kyle and Amanda)

AHHH! I haven’t seen you in 12 years! (Let the ugly cry commence.)

She will always be one of “mine.”

Amanda with Amanda Grace (my namesake)

From Youth Member to MD

After a 10 hour travel day, we finally made it to Atlanta. We went through Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and into Georgia. My goal was to take a picture of each state sign, to which I was successful.  🙂 Upon arriving at the hotel, our kiddos immediately changed into their swim suits and headed to the pool. THAT was their highlight. 

However, MY highlight was reconnecting with a former youth whom I hadn’t seen in TEN years. The last time I saw Catherine she was an 18 year old headed off to Mercer University. Now, she’s a DOCTOR doing her residency in pathology. It was so fun for me to see her all grown up, living her dream, and hearing all the Lord has done in her life. As a pastor’s kid, she was always in the spotlight (we totally get that), and it was encouraging to hear how the Lord took her on the journey of making her faith her own. Of course, after ten years, you expect for a follower of Christ to grow in their relationship with Him, but what a blessing to hear how she’s using her skills as a MD to bring glory to God. I knew God was going to use Catherine in this capacity, but what a blessing to see it fulfilled. 

It was also encouraging for me to see my own journey during this ten year gap. My time in Tifton, GA was filled with some of the best and hardest days of ministry.  In my opinion, Youth Ministry is one of the hardest (and crucial) ministries of the church. Students are going from being a kid to a young adult. There are so many hormonal, emotional, and spiritual changes that happen during that six year period, and it’s tempting to wonder if all the energy you’re pouring into them is taking root. I often found myself asking the Lord: “What in the world am I doing here? Are they learning anything from you, or am I just a warm body managing the chaos around me?” Last night, the Father was so good to remind me that He, indeed, was working. I had the proof sitting right in front of me, and she was full of stories of people like Molly, Drew, Brandt, Abby, Melissa, Nick, Lia, and etc. These former youth are now all grown, have careers and families of their own, and serving the Lord in their sphere of influence.

As we begin this sabbatical season, how sweet of the Father to remind us of this truth. Every minister goes through times when they wonder if their energy and passion for their flock is worth it and making a difference. Looking at Catherine, seeing her growth, and anticipating her future, God gave me a resounding YES!! Every tear, every joy, every frustration, every triumph, and every season is worth it. Some of us may never see the impact we’ve made on an individual. But, yesterday, God was sweet to let me see some “fruit” of my labor those many years ago.

Catherine, I’m proud of you and the woman you are. Continue seeking the Lord and allowing Him to use you for His glory. You are one of my biggest ministry blessings!  

Catherine with my kiddos. Very surreal!

Amanda and Catherine

 

Learning to R.E.S.T.

Good morning from I-20! The past few months Chris and I have been anticipating and looking forward to some time away. Our precious church has granted us a two month sabbatical, and we are beyond thankful for their generosity. The last few years have been filled with joy, heartbreak, laughter, tears, encouragement, discouragement, and all other emotions. About a year ago, we looked up and realized just how tired we were. However, there was more work to be done. This past year God has shown us how He desires to use us going forward. There are a host of college students/young adults who have been brought to our doorstep, and there is a world that needs reaching for Christ. But, in order to do that more effectively, we knew we needed some time away to disconnect and recharge. 

We are looking forward to stepping back, taking time to R.E.S.T. (Read. Eat. Sleep. Travel) and learning how to reconnect as a couple and a family. Today, we begin our two month journey that will take us from Louisiana to Maine to Prince Edward Island to Niagara Falls to Detroit to Nebraska and finally to Oklahoma. Our prayer for this summer is we will get to experience some amazing adventures along the way and learn more about each other and our Heavenly Father. Our goal is to keep a daily log of our journey and share pictures with you. I hope you will come along fro the ride. Since our goal is to disconnect from the “world” and reconnect with each other, our social media involvement will be slim to none. Therefore, this will be the place to see what we are up to. I am excited to see what God has in store for us as we seek Him during this unique opportunity.

Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers. We will see you in Atlanta…

Packed up and ready to go!

Aaron says he’s ready to go!

Pilot and Co-pilot

See ya in two months

Wogging and Spiritual Disciplines

The past eight months have been a challenge for me. During my years in college and the sequential years following, I took up running as my form of stress relief.

I loved it.

I got up early, put on my running shoes, and got in at least 4 miles before most of the world was awake. Then…motherhood happened. For six years I was either pregnant, postpartum, or just too tired to even think about exercising. Any excuse was a plausible one, and I had sympathetic friends who “encouraged” those excuses.

However, last May all of my excuses ran out. All my children were sleeping through the night (PRAISE!). My youngest was almost 18 months. (That hardly qualifies for postpartum.) And, as far as we knew, my husband and I were transitioning from the “having babies” stage to “raising children” stage.

It was time.

Over the last eight months, I’ve discovered that my spiritual walk and discipline is a lot like running. Hebrews 12:1-2 says: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

These verses have always been special to me, but over the last few months, I’ve seen them in a fresh way.

First, there were things I needed to get rid of in my life.

My girls got out of school mid-May, and the next day I set out for my first “wog” (walking/jogging). It was hot, humid, sunny, and quite frankly…miserable. That first day, I felt terrible! My feet hurt. My face was red. And, my lungs felt like they were going to explode. I was sure this “new idea” wasn’t a good idea. I, literally, had two of my neighbors ask me if I was OK, and one neighbor offered me water. Ladies, it was THAT bad!

However, I learned a few things from that first wog. My biggest problem was my clothing attire. I needed new shoes — I was running on old shoes, which caused my feet to hurt. I also needed some new workout clothes — I was running in workout pants, and I needed to trade them in for some actual shorts. And, finally, I needed new socks — My regular cotton socks were pinching my toes causing more pain.

Spiritually speaking, many of us are carrying around burdens, sin, and worries that are preventing us from running the race God has for us. Our minds are distracted and our hearts are so divided that we can’t see clearly what the Lord wants from us. We feel awful because we are carrying around the weight of guilt, anger, bitterness, and shame.

It’s difficult to move forward in our relationship with Christ and to feel His presence in our lives when we have so much distracting us.

God designed us for freedom and a relationship with Him. But, we have to be willing to lay aside the very things­—comfortable things—that are causing us pain. What is it that you need to lay aside? What is God asking you to get rid of so He can be supreme in your life? Will you take steps to remove the weight so that you can run the race God has for you?

Next, I also realized the importance of encouragement.

Since starting this new running journey, I have been overwhelmed with the amount of encouragement I’ve experienced. Joanne, a lady who helps in our college ministry, started running about 10 years ago (right after she turned 40!). Now, she runs all over the country, and has even started competing in triathlons. She can run circles around me. But, she has been one of my biggest encouragers.

When I get discouraged, she tells me how she got through that part of her journey. She reminds me that she hasn’t always been at the top of her age-bracket in races, and that there was a time where she couldn’t run 30 seconds without stopping. She gives me perspective when I lose mine.

We also need encouragers in our spiritual race. I would encourage you to find someone in your church or community who can push you towards Jesus. This world is difficult, and we need people a little further along in the journey to come alongside us and encourage us to continue. If you have been following Jesus for awhile, look for a younger Christian woman you can encourage (Titus 2:3-5). The last thing we need is for judgmental Christians who act like they have it all together.

The fact is, we are all struggling with something.

None of us is perfect, and no one has it all figured out. Therefore, we all need someone to tell us that we’re going to make it through and then walk with us until we get there. Ladies, we were made to live and function in community. Instead of looking for ways to tear each other down, let’s seek to be women who encourage and strengthen each other.

Finally, I’ve learned the importance of complete, unwavering focus.

Last month I turned 39 years old. (How in the world is this possible?) Not long after I started this journey, I realized I needed a goal to work towards. So, I set the lofty goal of finishing a half marathon during my 40th year.

In order to accomplish this goal, I also had to set smaller goals. Here are a few: Run 10 minutes without stopping. Run a mile without stopping. Run a 5K, 10K, and 15K. Some goals I have accomplished, and some I’m still working toward. I still have a LONG way to go before I can even think about completing a half marathon, but I’m focused. It’s this focus that gets me out of bed in the morning or gives me energy in the evening.

In your relationship with Christ, who or what is your focus? If it is anything other than Jesus, then you will fall short and ultimately fail to grow. In this passage, the phrase “looking to Jesus” is an active, intense looking at something. Too often we give Christ a casual look to make sure we’re “okay.”

But, when was the last time you looked so intently at Chirst that everything else blurred in comparison?

He is the One who is the “founder and perfecter” of our faith. If you find yourself in a rut, turn your eyes towards Jesus. If you’ve lost your passion for the things of God, turn your eyes towards Jesus. If life seems too much to bear and you wonder if you can go on, turn your eyes towards Jesus. The more we look at Him and Him alone, the more peace, joy, hope, and true abundant life we will experience.

Most days, wogging is still difficult. I have a long way to go before I actually look forward to lacing up my shoes and getting out in the cold or the heat. But, I am so far from where I was eight months ago.

My prayer is that next year I will be able to look back on my relationship with Christ and see where I have allowed God to shape me more into the image of His Son. I’m not there yet, but, by God’s grace, I’m seeking to run the race of life He has set before me.

The Sacredness in the Mundane

I’m a mom of three amazing kiddos, which means most of what I do is considered mundane. Just this morning I fed three little mouths, fixed two beautiful girls’ hair, got those two girls and a husband off to school/work, wiped a snotty nose multiple times, read board books, played with the cutest toddler I know, put that same toddler down for a nap, and washed/folded a pile of laundry. And…all before lunch time. In all honesty, it’s so easy to get caught up in the mundane that I miss the rich blessings God has given me. The blessing of being able to stay home with my kiddos while they are young. The blessing of a beautiful home that requires upkeep. The blessing of clothes that need washing, drying, and folding. The blessing of food that I get to cook for my family. And the incredible blessing of a husband and 3 children that need my time and energy.

You see, the mundane of life is what the enemy uses to distract us and what God uses to refine us. On my bad days, satan whispers in my ear: “Amanda, you were made for so much more than this! Why are you spending all of your time/energy changing diapers, wiping snotty noses, and folding clothes when you could do more? Don’t you realize that you have a degree (or two) you can use?” And, the accusations continue. In these moments, it’s so difficult to see God’s blessings through the noise. And, the next step?  Discontentment begins to settle in my heart. I begin looking around at my friends who are in a different life stage or have been called to a different set of circumstances and wonder if I’m missing something. (Am I really settling for second best? Is my family really worth trading in what I used to want in order to be fully present with them?) If I’m not careful, I can easily spiral. In fact, that’s exactly what the enemy of my soul wants from me. He wants me to get to a place where I look at the mundane, despise it, and walk away from what the Lord has called me to do. And friend, he wants the same for you.

But, there is an answer (Praise God). And, that answer is found in the pages of scripture. “And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, ‘Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death'” (Rev. 12:10-11). Satan is the accuser of the brothers…of you and of me. He knows his fate, and he knows his time is short. Therefore, if he can get me to spiral into discontentment, then he can lead my heart and eventually my life away from God’s perfect plan.

Friends, discontentment is always rooted in self-love. But, look at the above verse. What is the answer to our discontentment? We are called to be ones who are in love with their Heavenly Father more than they are in love with self. We (I) must get to a place where we realize and rest in the fact that we are not our own. If you have chosen to follow Christ, then you have been purchased by His shed blood. You nor I have the right to demand anything from Him. When the accuser begins to whisper in our ears and distort God’s Word and truth, we must remind him that we are victorious in Christ and then stand firm on our testimony of faith.

I’m definitely still working through learning the peace of that comes with contentment. (And, I’m sure it will be a lifelong journey.) But, I so want to be victorious in this area. I’m tired of giving into the accuser and spiraling into discontent. I don’t know about you, but I want to begin running hard towards my Good Father. I want to claim His promises/blessings over my life and then rest in the reality that they are for me. He isn’t holding out on you, and He isn’t holding out on me. He knows exactly what I need in order to make me the wife, mom, friend, and church-woman that reflects His glory and points others to Christ.

My days may be filled with many mundane tasks, but I pray that I will see the sacredness in the mundane. For it is in those tasks the Lord pours out His blessings on my family/friends, and then uses it to bring a blessing to me.

When Ministry Becomes an Idol

Last night marked a huge shift in my ministry. After eleven consecutive years in a church-based Women’s Ministry and nine years at my current location, I attended my last women’s leadership meeting. Over the last several months, I’ve felt the Lord moving me in a different direction. But, I really didn’t want to listen. My church has experienced so much uncertainty and confusion during the past few years, so originally, I thought it was a combination of burnout and compassion fatigue. However, the more I tried to keep going and refusing to give up, the more frustrated, confused, angry, and unsettled I became. This past May it came to a head. I looked around at my life and realized that I had become a wife, mommy, and minister that I didn’t like. I was pouring so much time and energy into MY ministry and leaving out my children, my husband and the ministry I have with (and to) him. I was frustrated, confused, angry, and unsettled because I had made MY ministry an idol.

You see, women’s ministry was something that was totally mine. Of course, I had an incredible leadership team who served sacrificially and was a constant source of encouragement. But, it was still MY ministry. I’m a fiercely independent person, and I liked having something that wasn’t “shared.” I got married in my 30’s, and I’ve had a very difficult time with the whole concept of “they will become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Oh, I didn’t realize this was occurring. After all, I was a “vital” partner in my husband’s ministry. He seeks my counsel, listens to what I say, and often acts on my advice. But, it wasn’t enough. I wanted (and thought needed) more. I wanted to have something (disguised as ministry) all to myself. I absolutely love the girls in our college/young adult ministry, so it took many months for me to realize that MY ministry had become my idol.

To be honest with you, it wasn’t until last Friday, while talking with my former co-leader, that God showed me the true condition of my heart. Myra asked: “How hard is it going to be for you to walk away from this?” Immediately, my heart leapt, and I wanted to sob. The reality of the difficulty was impossible to express in mere words. That day I told her that women’s ministry was a passion of mine, and it was going to be weird to still be involved in ministry at our church but not be in charge of the women’s ministry. In all actuality, it was my idol, MY ministry, that was difficult to give up. God was asking me to sever that last part of me that was keeping me “independent.” He was asking me to lay down MY ministry and fully join my husband in OUR ministry. He was asking me to practice what I preach (and actually wrote a book about). MY ministry had become first place in my life, and everything else in my life was required to follow. He was asking me to lay down my life, my desires, my understanding of ministry, and my security in order to become “one flesh” with the man He has given me. I’m still struggling with what this looks like, but I am hopeful for the future.

In a week our town will, once again, be filled with college students…OUR students. The Lord has put such an excitement in my heart for what lies ahead at Cook, and I haven’t felt that excitement in a long time. I feel the energy I used to spend on MY ministry shifting. I’m beginning to have a vision for our college girls and young adults that I haven’t felt before. I’m realizing all the education and experience I’ve acquired can and will be used in OUR ministry. Yes, it’s still scary to think about letting go, but I’m learning to do it. There is a whole host of young women who need someone to pour into them. And, most importantly, I have two young women living under my roof that need their mommy to pour into them. I’m in the process of raising and discipling the next generation–both at home and on our campuses. I don’t have time to hang onto MY ministry and risk missing what God has in store for OUR ministry. God has so much more in store for me than I can even imagine. And, I don’t want to miss it!

Father, thank you for revealing the idolatry in my heart and giving me Your grace to confront it. May I continue to lay it down at your feet and worship You alone!

What a blessing it has been to work with this group of women! I love each of you dearly!

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