Initially, I was going to write a Facebook post, but it may be too long. Therefore, I decided on another blog post. I have so many thoughts about 2023, but one overwhelming thought/feeling is: I AM SO GLAD IT IS OVER!! (If you want to know more about my 2023, read my previous post here.)
I know any of you would rather not re-live 2020; I feel that way about 2023. I am sneaking into 2024, praying that it does not know I am coming.
This reality brings me to the actual point of the post.
Aren’t you thankful for new beginnings?
I can be fairly nostalgic, but if I dwell too much on the past or think too much about the future, I end up feeling anxious and depressed. So, today, I want us to think about the present as it winks towards the future.
Today is the last day of 2023 (PRAISE!), and tomorrow begins 2024. As I’ve thought about the ending of a challenging year and the beginning of a new year, a phrase continues to come into my mind: Unrealized Hope. Although I do not think you have to have a “word of the year,” I will embrace the tradition…even if it’s just this year.
Hope. What a fleeting word, which seems to leave as soon as you start to grasp it! Paul reminds us that “Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” (Rom. 8:24-25)
As 2024 begins, I am hoping for many things.
First, I am hoping for a better year. I look back on 2023, and I am not the same person. I have changed many thoughts, convictions, and understandings of issues I once (loudly) professed. However, I grasped more tightly to Christ and saw His heart in a deeper, more profound way. I pray that the change results in a better year because I went through the crushing, survived, and now feel like I can begin to live out of the person God is making. I do not yet see what God is doing, but I continue to hope in the promise that “He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:6)
Secondly, I am hoping for renewed passion. This year was a year of survival. Thankfully, my doctoral work kept my mind busy and my creative juices flowing. However, I hope to have a renewed passion for other things.
- I love lunches with friends but didn’t take many in 2023.
- I love sitting and writing out blog posts, but in 2023, I didn’t dare write too many personal feelings.
- I love being with friends, but in 2023, I didn’t have enough emotional energy for friends.
- And…maybe most importantly…I want a renewed passion for Christ’s bride, the Church. Church has been a difficult thing for me this year. However, I have tried to stay engaged…at least bodily. In 2024, I hope to engage emotionally as well. I still have alot of issues to work out about the church (especially the American church). Still, as I work them out, I hope God will renew my passion for His people.
Lastly, I hope to finish my Ph.D. and move on to the next thing (whatever that thing is). This hope is more of a practical hope, but it is something I have yet to realize. I started this journey in 2019, and it has been a VERY long road. However, I see a glimpse of light at the end of this long tunnel. My family needs me to be done, and I need me to be done. I enjoyed almost every minute of this journey and saw things in myself that I did not know existed. I learned that even at 45, I can do hard things. I look forward, with unrealized hope, to how God will use this degree for His glory.
Unrealized Hope. The fact that I am at the place of hoping again is a testament to God’s redemptive, healing work. I still have a ways to go, but I can hope again. I do not see the world as a place from where I want to run and hide. Instead, I want to tiptoe back into it, knowing there could be landmines, and enjoy it.
In a few short hours, 2024 will finally arrive. I don’t know about you, but I am thankful to see its arrival.
What Unrealized Hope do you have for 2024?